So many of us who have been exploited in the sex industry struggle to find love. We have limited models of what that even is. We cling to those who make us feel wanted and give us a sense of belonging… But often we are clinging to unhealthy relationships with no real intimacy outside of sex, relationships that hurt us and make us believe that we need to change who we are in order to be worthy. As we heal and grow, as we learn to love ourselves, as we witness others experiencing the kind of love we thought only existed in the movies… We begin to notice that what we have isn’t healthy, isn’t really working for either of us, isn’t really what we dreamed of despite the incredibly and profoundly deep love we may feel for them. We begin to notice that actions rarely or inconsistently support words and, as a result, we develop a greater understanding of the term “Promises are comfort to a fool”. We get honest with ourselves and accept the FACTS despite our FEELINGS. We stop settling for potential and become willing to let go.
Ladies, when a guy disrespects you or fails to be consistent in his affection for you (especially when he’s being an obvious a–hole), block him. You don’t need to accept being spoken to or treated like that by anyone. Block. Delete. No looking back. Trust me. I’ve had to do it myself. It’s not always easy, either. You can have really strong feelings for someone even though they aren’t what’s best for you. It’s up to you to decide what you’re worth… and then stand behind that decision. Being a strong woman who treats herself with love, dignity and respect can often mean cutting people out of your life that hurt you, insult you or make you feel small. Gotta get all the weeds out of your garden if you want it to grow healthy and strong.
There will be someone else. Someone who treats you like the Queen you are.
Don’t settle.
Never settle.
Shamin Brown Consulting 